A journal of questionable quality

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Politically incorrect

The Heckler and Koch, PSG1, a 7.62mm weapon described as:

'the pre-eminent precision marksman's rifle, designed to deliver surgically accurate multiple shots to distant targets'
This is the very weapon I need.

Today.

I enjoy shooting.

I'm not supposed to say that anymore. It's not a politically correct thing to say. I'm not sure who decides what is politically correct and what's not. I used to think there must be a book or something - a Dummies Guide to Correctness, something that one could refer to when about to open ones mouth in public. A publication that advised when it was ok to say something like 'I'm working like a nigger', and when it was deemed inadvisable. (If it is indeed inadvisable to use the term are we then to assume that the nigger mentioned is incapable of working at all?)

I don't think there is a book. I don't think there's any authority out there at all, other than a few bleeding heart, sniveling, retentive little dynasties, with very personal views on what should be said and what should not.

I think I might produce the ultimate guide to political correctness.

I'll do that right after I have been out blasting out a few rounds from the H&K weapon mentioned above, which will be financed by donations from people who are sick of being politically correct. People who need a new correctness advisor to guide them in these uncertain times.

You can blame all this on an article I read in the UK's Sunday Times online magazine about a Iraqi sniper hero who uses a Dragunow SWD - SVDS, in his actions against the invading forces. An extraordinary article, made more so by the fact that the Sunday Times published it in the first place.

How I saw it, it was a call to arms. I gotta get me something to defend myself 'agin that there bad darky (my new guide will confirm the word 'darky' is indeed politically correct, along with 'camel jockey', 'tea towel head', and a few others).

Hence the H&K PSG1, the weapon of choice for people who don't like to miss.

My idea, such as it is, set up a sniper nest on the roof, getting a good look at anything approaching, and pick of a few of those religious types who wander about our suburb, door knocking.

Get a few of those everyday, especially at a considerable distance, and they are going to be thinking twice about coming up this street. For one thing it's a steep rise and the added disincentive of the likelihood of a 7.62 round through the frontal lobe has to make the place off limits to all but the most battle hardened door knockers.

Any that make it must deserve a cup of tea. And then a 7.62 round in the eyesocket. Leave 'em out on the front lawn, a warning to others. Ants should start on them in about an hour. Crows will go for the eyes.

If it's good enough for Abu Othman (the Times article) to say he is doing his bit for god with a rifle it has to be good enough for me.

One thing I'm not going to bother with is the shouting to god thing - too much noise will give my position away.

But, as I said, you can blame this on an article I read in the Sunday Times, but I wasn't there to read that article, I originally went there to read the latest about a particular form of toxic additive they have discovered in a bunch of foodstuffs. Seems that about 300 - 400 food lines contain a cancer causing dye. I'm presuming they know it is cancer causing because they have already caused cancer with it.

Anyway, there I am, checking out the details, thinking that the people who caused this little drama need shooting when, pow, out of the corner of my eye I saw the link to the Iraqi action man.

It's an omen. I have to get ready. First - the book. The book will explain that it is perfectly ok to call people who make cancer causing food 'niggers', 'arseholes', 'dimwits', and many other names that I am unable to come up with at this very moment.
Trust me, it will all be in the book.


The book will change your life..
or else.
Contribute to the cause.. The great sniper rifle fund..


Submit donations so that I may afford the weapon, and then watch me make the
World a safer place.



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