A journal of questionable quality

Friday, November 23, 2007

breathing... less




I told you the cattle prod wouldn't work like that Jethro... you know what I have to do now, doncha?



Thursday, November 22, 2007

Ninging

Hell, I look good

The drama of self promotion:

Visit zoetrope imagineering



Friday, November 16, 2007

So, when does the fun start?



Definitive instruction on how to avoid having a holiday - anywhere, anytime



Wednesday, November 07, 2007

not the holiday

crashing... slowly

How to nuke a holiday

In which our hero will guide you in what not to do when a holiday is expected. Observations of an obsessed parent. day 1

Having waved goodbye to the day care children, and giggled a lot about them not being around for the next two weeks, we now turn our attention to the apples of Yvonne's eye, the pair that can do no wrong, none other than Damien and Liam, arrangements in place for two weeks at estranged fathers place for the period of 'our holiday'.

Day 1 and what is this I spy parked out the front? Can it really be Damien's car? Didn't they just go away in that about 12 hours ago?

Correct citizen, indeed they did, and now they're both back, oh goodie, how lucky we are, repeat, how lucky we are. And the reason for this 'visit'? Not allowed computer use at father's place to be able to piss about and do nothing but catch virri, it has been pre arranged (however, not with me) that they should spend the day here while Damien tries, but will not succeed, in getting various assignments finished, even if they did fall due well before now.

Surprised? Flabbergasted I think we call it. I never seemed to have factored the fact that they were actually back again, and appeared to be a wonderful 'addition' to our holiday.

don't relax - ever

day 4 And so, still reeling from the fact that at any moment of any day any child could turn up for any reason and I should still call this a holiday, we accelerate toward the next act of madness.

Wednesday. Morning. Eldest child starts school early. Finishes school early. Will he require a top up of 'mothering'?

Indeed he does. So keen he actually arrives early. Computer purrs with happiness. So does his mother. I seem to be the only one around that notices the unlikely application of the term 'holiday'

Having consumed the requisite of time, a slice of my life that I wouldn't mind back if anyone could see fit to grant me a credit, and having failed to complete anything meaningful, he leaves looking no more educated that on arrival.

I win. I have been out putting miles on the bike. A good day for a quick 50 klms and a good day to be out of the house.


waiting.....

day 5 on
Ahh yes, the wonders of relaxing. I read about it once, but it will not be found here. The weekend thankfully taken up by work - the cleaning jobs that I keep, the cleaning jobs that get me out of trouble when I have been too vocal.

Car breaking down for the Nth time in the last two weeks strangely doesn't faze me as much as coming home to swap cars to continue. What will we find? Eldest earnestly staring at a screen, studiously engaged in assignments? The entire house full of kids to celebrate our holiday? No one?

And, the latter it is. Safe. managed to get in, change cars and get out before a child get's to me.

Waiting. Waiting. Weekend waiting.

week two ... they're here somewhere

They must be. They're hiding. Waiting. The minute I relax they'll rear up and make themselves comfortable.
Caught thinking 'just how selfish do you have to be? '
You've had ample time to finish anything school orientated, electing instead to piss about and whine a lot instead. And, just to compound your ego overload you have to wreck a holiday, the last one that will be had under these conditions, because you know you can? Sounds odd to me child, but whatever spins your wheels.

Dear me.. I wonder sometimes what becomes of people who have never been allowed to fend for themselves. What happens when they come to a decision making event? In our house you are trained to ring mum, mum knows where your phone is. But what do you do in the real world? Really?

winding up a holiday...

And so, two weeks having almost passed, the house is quiet today. Has anybody been? Is it safe to relax? No answers here. Maybe later in the day. Maybe we should have arranged a cell phone text for when it was safe to relax. There would have been less calls to answer.

We have been out. To call into a shop to see our favorite kite retailers, to find they are separated, Wondering there for a  moment if they had a 'holiday' like I had - grounds enough for a separation. Husband heads back to the army, wife running clothing stores as we track her down to see what's going on. She's looking good, seems happy. Things change.

We have been out. To pick up the errant vehicle that only plays up when I drive it - no one else has a problem. Been at the mechanics place for three days - everyone in the place had driven it, no one can fault it. In desperation I gift it a set of spark plugs. Be happy Mr car, be happy. I need you very much in the coming weeks as I try and carve out a semi holiday of my own. Kite buggying is, thankfully, a solo sport. It's not, but when I do it it is. Perfect park 30 kilometers away... just far enough to be hard to find.

It's odd to look forward to the end of a holiday, but it will be easier when they are back in residence and I know for certain there is no place to relax.

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